To my past self and to future breakups.

Dear past self, future self, and all the girls and boys who may face a breakup,

It seems like these past few years the media has been overwhelmed with messages of Jay-Z cheating on Queen-B, Selena Gomez sans the Weekend--who’s now with Bella, and the most recent coverage of Ariana and Pete Davidson calling it quits on their engagement. Nobody seems to stay “in love”. Worse, you may have recently gone through a break-up yourself and now you begin to question whether your parents are still actually in love and whether true love exists or if it has always just been a phase that you fall in and out of?

You are smart enough to know and have been told countless of times that things happen for a reason and that this may just be for the best. Or have been given a glimmer of hope that if it was truly meant to be, you’ll find each other eventually and that “right now” is just not the “right time”. You can begin to look back and criticize every action you took or lack thereof and think about what you could’ve possibly done better to prevent this from ever happening. You can fall for every happily-ever-after as seen on TV and think that maybe if I fought for him/her and “us”--like that one couple did in that one movie--that it would fix things and lead to your own happily ever after...despite the fact that there’s not one bone in your body that wants to. You can start to believe that it was the other half that didn’t do enough, put all the blame on them, and tell yourself it is up to them if they want to fight for “us”...even though you know every relationship is a two-way street. You can convince yourself that you will never be enough and that you’ll never find love, or even better, that you are better than any man/woman and that no one deserves your love...and then find reasons in your past relationship why one or the other is true.

There are a million other ways to blame yourself for the way things turned out or look to the past for how things could’ve been different, but it’s time to stop thinking about the “what-ifs” and focus on the new you. I’m not going to lie, it’s not going to be easy to forget about the other person that used to be on your mind and in your life 24/7. But, one thing I will tell you is that it will get better and that you will find someone who will work hard to show you that you are enough.

Take the time that you used to dedicate to your now ex for yourself--you will become a stronger person because of it. Think about the things you loved about yourself during the relationship and the things you never want to be again. Think about all the things you didn’t like about your ex and the things you liked about them. In a way, this breakup is preparing you for “the one”...or at least the next person you'll let into your life. Because of this breakup, you now know what to look for in a man or woman, and what to avoid. Because of this breakup, you now know how to appreciate the little things and understand that love takes time and effort...on both ends. Because of this breakup, you now know that you deserve only the best for yourself and that you deserve to be loved. Because of this breakup, you know more about yourself… and I want you to continue to learn more about yourself.

I can not promise you that the next person you meet will be “the one”. Just know that with every person you meet and every person you have to walk away from, you grow and become stronger. And I can tell you now that even if the next person you meet is “the one”, there will still be fights and struggles. Regardless, you will be and feel more than enough and that he/she will love you with all their being because that is what you deserve. Do not ever let anyone take you for granted. And when you are with "the one" you will feel nothing but bliss and helplessly reciprocate their love tenfold.

One important thing I want you to know is that it’s okay to not feel okay right now. That you have people you can talk to and people who will listen to every polarizing thing you are feeling---appreciate those people (you know who you are ;) ). Remember that you are special and that you deserve to be with someone who will unconditionally love you for you. Remember that you deserve to be happy and that it’s okay to do what you need to do to get you feeling okay again. Enjoy every moment of your life, and now it is your time for you.

Love, yourself.